Having recently moved countries, left behind family and friends, changed jobs, and basically experienced what Gen Z would call a ‘lifequake,’ I understand change, a growth mindset, and doing hard things. This journey has got me thinking about what investing in yourself means. Having read many self-help, business, and leadership books, I think I have explored this idea in every possible way. The disclaimer is that ‘investing in yourself’ depends on a plethora of factors, including where you are in your career, your age, experience, etc. So, my list works for me, for now. My growth has come from repetitive actions, the everyday things I do—rituals, the way I see it.

Brutal with Books

I read voraciously, well within the confines of my busy day…basically a few minutes before I pass out for the night. The point, however, is that I enjoy books. Growing up, I was taught that you must finish what you start. I used to force myself to finish every book, no matter how boring or incoherent it was. Not anymore. My time is constrained. If a book doesn’t click, I stop reading it—no guilt whatsoever. It’s better to spend my time wisely than waste it on some outdated concept of completion. Completion does not equal success or wisdom. Hence the brutality: if a book doesn’t speak to me, I put it down!

Sleep Schedule

Sleep is very personal, and your relationship with it has likely shifted over the years. Not long ago, I needed only 6 hours, and the time I slept didn’t matter—whether it was 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. or 12 a.m. to 6 a.m. Before that, in my early 20s, sleep didn’t matter at all! Whether it was 1, 3, or 8 hours, it all felt the same. Predating that were my teenage years, when I slept for as long as possible, woke up late, and even took daily naps. Fast forward to now: I need 8 hours of sleep, from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. If I deviate from this, the consequences are tangible: saggy eyes, lack of concentration, constant yawning, and general lethargy. Worse still, these effects linger for days. My sleep matters, and I take my sleep schedule seriously. Lack of quality sleep impacts me severely. Know your triggers; this is one of mine. Invest in a solid pillow, duvet, and bed!

Presentism

You’ve probably seen images of a mom lying in bed at night, eyes wide open, with a mental list above her head—one that keeps getting longer, like movie credits scrolling on a screen. That epitomizes me flawlessly. I maintain a mental list, a notes list on my phone, an Excel spreadsheet on my laptop, a to-do list on my Outlook, and even reminders with alarms. It’s all-encompassing and, honestly, exhausting! I used to believe in multitasking effectively, but there’s no such thing. Let me clarify: if you want to use your time efficiently, make a list, stick to it, and move on. Rehashing the list, trying to multitask, or doing too many things at once doesn’t work for me. I do what I can, prioritize urgent versus important, and physically check things off on an actual page. Yes, it gives me a dopamine hit. RIP, multitasking.

Networking, for What?

Attending an event to network is one of my worst nightmares. The idea of meeting others to connect, widen your circle of influence, or even grow is dead to me. I firmly believe in creating relationships. After all is said and done, it truly comes down to relationships. If you distill the concept of relationships even further, it comes down to trust. Good relationships are based on reciprocity and time spent building them. Whether you use Dunbar’s rule or your ability to truly reciprocate friendship and devote the time it requires, there is limited space for true connections in your life. Use them wisely. I’m more aligned with the ‘circle of 5’ concept—these are the five people who truly matter in your life. Devote your efforts to them. The fact that we’re all six degrees apart (likely even closer now) will take care of the ‘networking.’

Tasty Food

The question: Do you eat to live or live to eat? I would have described myself as someone who eats to live. Food has never been a big deal to me. I could hardly string together a sentence describing my favorite meal; it’s been non-emotive to me. However, I have recently found joy in tasty cuisine and, perhaps more importantly, intentionally creating a space and time to eat. The Ayurvedic concept that how you ingest your food impacts digestion and energy levels has been eye-opening for me. However, good nutrition is only part of the puzzle. How and where you eat, and the impact of intentional choices, can change your relationship with food. I try to choose tasty, well-prepared, home-cooked meals as my preference. It’s not always possible, but it does spark joy in me!

Minimalism

I have always liked nice things—I still do. Over the years, I have purged significantly. This applies to my belongings, acquaintances, clothes, and even sentimental items. Maybe it’s because of moving countries or just getting older, but my need for many things has shrunk. I tend to buy functional things or things that bring me joy. The Marie Kondo concept has rung true for me: if it’s broken, has no purpose, or makes my space cluttered, I let it go (even emotions). This hasn’t happened overnight; it’s more of an observation of how I’ve grown over the years. I like my stuff because most of it tells a story of my life, but I’m also not attached to it. This has probably been the most interesting and unexpected development in my book of life lessons!

Walking

Exercise, identifying your VO2 Max, Pilates, creating a mix of cardio and strength training, leg day at the gym—the noise is perpetual! These are all great concepts, but I’m over it! At this stage in my life, with three little kids and a busy job, I take pleasure in walking. I put on my podcast (usually a combo of Lex Fridman, Dax Shepard, or Gareth Cliff) and walk. It isn’t power walking; it’s certainly not training for any marathon. It’s just a daily walk. I love it! Whether I have company or not, whether it’s hot or cold weather, long or short walks, it gives me joy.

On reflection, I didn’t actively set out to invest in myself. However, I did find myself doing a few ritualistic things that sparked happiness. Maybe that’s the message right there. If you remove the cyclical clutter of your everyday life, I’m sure you will discover your own rituals. Even writing this article has been cathartic. Knowing that I have ‘go-to’ people and processes to help me overcome daily stresses is comforting.

Investing in myself has made me more centered. Honestly, I’m more compassionate when I’m centered—a better leader and generally a better listener. If I summarize the themes I’ve highlighted, it’s really about contentment over materialism, ethics over ego, and perhaps overwhelmingly, keeping gratitude at the heart of everything. The finitude of life has struck me, and I’m trying to be purposeful with the ticking clock!

WRITTEN BY BHAVNA GOUNDER, Director at BMO Commercial Bank, Toronto Canada.